Today, we're going to talk about something I get asked about a lot:
"How do you stay safe doing this?"
(Warning: there are links to some stories about people that had their boundaries crossed in their snuggling sessions, some of them in a sexual way. If you're comfortable reading about that, feel free to do so. I do want to express that my goal is to empower professional snugglers so they don't get into a situation like this with education and great, professional communication prior to seeing people. But this is an important topic to cover and be aware of, which is why I'm talking about this today)
Safety is usually the first thing that comes up in conversation whenever I tell someone I'm a professional snuggler, especially when I mention that I work out of my home, other's homes, and in hotels. It's a really important question! Safety while doing this line of work is extremelyveryabsolutelynoquestiononehundredpercent vital.
Why? Because many early cuddle companies did a TERRIBLE job advertising. And lots of misleading marketing came out (and still happens) that affects professional snugglers and the clients they may see.
Which also meant that the people they attracted were a mixed bag of people that think it's a sexual service and people that genuinely need this service (yes, I just linked to my own article but there's other people too).
Because so few people do a good job explaining how to stay safe. Because big agencies may do background checks on the potential clients but they don't personally ask them what they're looking to get out of the sessions. Even when the rules are explained. And when we don't know what to do when boundaries are crossed (intentionally or unintentionally), bad things happen.
I don't want this to be your story as a professional snuggler. We're here to help people, but we're here to do it in a way that it is intended to: with innocence, with platonic boundaries, with comfort and therapeutic effects intended, and with clear communication so everyone is happy.
There's sooooo much to cover about safety that I can't put all in an email, but I do want to let you know that there IS a way that you can do this and stay safe and I'll share some of the things I created for myself that has kept me safe for the past two years I've been a professional snuggler:
1. I always send a Q&A to any potential client before agreeing to meet with them. My Q&A form I send has a few key questions that help me figure out what they're looking to get out of a session. If they're vague about it, I usually try to get more info. If they just don't know what they're looking for out of a session, I tell them how a session usually goes and see what they think of that. If they remain vague or use words like "do you get what I'm saying?" it usually means that they don't want to actually say or type what it is they actually want, which means it's probably something you won't offer.
2. I always send a confirmation email that specifies clothing requirements. Once I know when and where I'm meeting them, I send a confirmation email detailing all of this, including payment and location. I'll also add that they may wear anything as long as they're fully clothed, bare minimum is a tank top and gym shorts all the way up to a tailsuit (and yes, I've cuddled someone in a tailsuit before).
3. I NEVER give my exact address when they are coming to me. I'll give the street. Amy in NYC will give her cross street. If your street is secluded, heck, give the color of the house. But putting your exact address in writing is not good, especially in this day and age. When people press for this info, I tell them I don't give the exact address, but they can call me and I'll direct them further.
4. I always see my clients outside a home or room before seeing them inside. I'll stand outside. I'll be at the front porch. I'll meet them in the lobby. But no matter what, I always see them even just for a few seconds outside of whatever private room we'll be cuddling in.
5. I have a supervisor I check in and out with. This one is crucial. When I worked for an agency I had a supervisor. When they stopped offering that service I trained someone to do exactly what they did, and they still check in on me. They know when and where I'm supposed to be, and the local numbers in case something were to happen. This isn't just for my safety, but for the client's as well (I'm not just talking about if the other person may do harm. I'm talking about if someone had a heart attack in the middle of a session. Medical emergencies are also really important to document and have another party aware of it).
These are the top things that help ease my mind, but as you can imagine, there's a lot of little details involved with safety for both you and your clients. And putting it into one giant email that's already really long is not the best place to put it.
That's why I've been working on a short course to get you started. And it can help you get comfortable with professional snuggling regardless of if you work for a big agency, work with me, or go freelance for yourself. I want you to have the info so you can get started right away and feel prepared with my time-tested, proven processes that I've been applying my ex-engineer mind to (because I like processes a lot and if there isn't one, I make one and test it like crazy).